Thursday, April 25, 2013

Stay open, stay soft.

 

I did a self practice today, packed with deep heart openers, and long forward folds. This version of Bon Iver's Beth/Rest kept me company, and the combination of soft music and strong movement helped me open, release, and still. Moments like these remind me why I love the practice, why I love to teach, and why, no matter what excuse my monkey mind can muster up, I return to the mat. When all else fails, when it seems like no one is around, I know I have that. I am never alone. Heavy mitted love and shadows are always with me.

I met an amazing woman the other day. She told me that intimacy requires vulnerability. And vulnerability requires self love. Mid conversation, I had to interrupt her, and write this down. She was a complete stranger, but that day, I was open to her and what she had to say. Someone else could have said it, and I may not have heard them. No one and nothing is mere coincidence. 

It struck a rich and thick chord. Strength, maybe even the illusion of strength, is a type of defense mechanism for me, a faulty fight or flight response. I know how to "be strong" and how to "act strong", but it doesn't always make me approachable, and it doesn't always harbor a space for long lasting and meaningful relationships. Most importantly, it isn't always my truth.

This week my boss/close friend asked me to consider the "vibe" I give off, insinuating that the person that I am is not always the person that people get to meet. And after asking Lionda, my sissi, some advice on matters of the heart, she laughed and pointed out how great my intuition was in every area of life, except for when it comes to that sphere.

So my question is: how many heart opening poses do I have to do to become more in tune with this side of myself? [Just joking. Maybe. Sort of.] The work ON the mat sometimes seems so much easier than the work OFF the mat. But that is my work. That is where I need to go. That is where I want to be.

The sweetest fruit is out on the limb.

 I will stay strong, and at the tip of my strength ...

... I will learn to melt and soften.


Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Tortoise and the Hare


This past Wednesday, practicing, and warming up for my Enerji Fitness class in Tustin. 
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, 8:45am www.enerjifitness.com

I've been home for two weeks.

Getting back into the swing on things proved to be quite the challenge for me! Desynchronosis, commonly known as jet lag, was of course no help. Bloody crazed with new-found glorious inspiration, I wasn't doing myself any big favors either. Feeling ridiculously high*, I naively took on a rather generous amount of classes, worked late hours at the office, and played a rather mean game of social catch up.

Needless to say, I wasn't even half way through the week, when it was all disrupted. I found myself on the studio floor, holding back tears, wondering if I was even okay to drive home. How was I already so burned out? A cocktail of feelings spilled over me. The base of this bittersweet drink: slight disappointment. The modifying agent: slight relief. I am not superhuman, not even after my beautiful, life-changing experience. I had to slow down, or I wouldn't make it to Friday, let alone reach my new-found goals.

Now I am not entirely surprised by my own behavior. I have a long history with balance ... or should I say the lack of. I can balance in bakasana, and on a good day I am even pretty stable for a few breaths in my pincha mayurasana. But in life, I can get pretty wobbly. I have a huge tendency to over-jam my schedule, spring-clean, and then re-over-jam again. Even after identifying this pattern, it's been difficult to break. But I am working on it, and this month it is my main focus. Slow and steady wins the race. 

Updating my blog is a part of this work. I enjoy writing and sharing my experience, but frequently don't make time for it. Now while I wait for my car to get serviced, instead of answering work e-mails, I am doing this, and I feel quite relaxed and proud of myself. And while I ate lunch today, I simply stared out the window. That was fantastic, too. No phone, no book, just my food and my surroundings. Sometimes it baffles me, that after so many years of practice, I still need so many reminders and have to do so much work to slow down. I guess that's why we call it practice and not graduation. Keep on keeping.

I will never be the same.


The natural progression of understanding the Universe, the world, and myself, spontaneously carried me 8,000 miles away from the shore that had become dauntingly familiar to me. I stayed fairly quite and perhaps to some it seemed I left quite abruptly. Since I've returned, I've been faced with many questions. I feel only this can answers them all sincerely: it is quite simple now.

 I will never be the same.

And that is probably why it had to happen the the way that it did. Thank you to all my students who were understanding about my absence, and additionally, thank you to the studios and amazing fellow instructors who showed support, helped cover my classes, and allowed me this quest. I am extremely grateful, and equally curious as to where this is all taking me...

 I am open.



So excited about this!

Yoga Today proudly welcomes Mona Godfrey from Yoga Today on Vimeo.

FUN Q&A with Yoga Today!


Yoga Today is so excited to introduce our newest instructor, Mona Godfrey. I sat down with her off camera to ask a few questions so we could all get to know her a little better …

Click to watch a video introduction by Mona Godfrey

First day on set, nothing but excitement!


Let me shift gears and dive a little deeper into who Mona Godfrey is, day-to-day.
Deeper? I thought the other questions were already pretty deep! Ha ha








Mona, you’ve left our Yoga Today crew with endless smiles. Your personality radiates directly into your methods and teachings. We are so excited to have you as a part of our team and look forward to many more days of filming!
I am SO excited and grateful to be a part of Yoga Today! The whole Yoga Today team rocks – all of you have made a strong impression on me and I am so grateful to have this be a part of my life experience!