The Tortoise and the Hare

This past Wednesday, practicing, and warming up for my Enerji Fitness class in Tustin. 
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, 8:45am www.enerjifitness.com

I've been home for two weeks.

Getting back into the swing on things proved to be quite the challenge for me! Desynchronosis, commonly known as jet lag, was of course no help. Bloody crazed with new-found glorious inspiration, I wasn't doing myself any big favors either. Feeling ridiculously high*, I naively took on a rather generous amount of classes, worked late hours at the office, and played a rather mean game of social catch up.

Needless to say, I wasn't even half way through the week, when it was all disrupted. I found myself on the studio floor, holding back tears, wondering if I was even okay to drive home. How was I already so burned out? A cocktail of feelings spilled over me. The base of this bittersweet drink: slight disappointment. The modifying agent: slight relief. I am not superhuman, not even after my beautiful, life-changing experience. I had to slow down, or I wouldn't make it to Friday, let alone reach my new-found goals.

Now I am not entirely surprised by my own behavior. I have a long history with balance ... or should I say the lack of. I can balance in bakasana, and on a good day I am even pretty stable for a few breaths in my pincha mayurasana. But in life, I can get pretty wobbly. I have a huge tendency to over-jam my schedule, spring-clean, and then re-over-jam again. Even after identifying this pattern, it's been difficult to break. But I am working on it, and this month it is my main focus. Slow and steady wins the race. 

Updating my blog is a part of this work. I enjoy writing and sharing my experience, but frequently don't make time for it. Now while I wait for my car to get serviced, instead of answering work e-mails, I am doing this, and I feel quite relaxed and proud of myself. And while I ate lunch today, I simply stared out the window. That was fantastic, too. No phone, no book, just my food and my surroundings. Sometimes it baffles me, that after so many years of practice, I still need so many reminders and have to do so much work to slow down. I guess that's why we call it practice and not graduation. Keep on keeping.