I still don't have a mat.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, very far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers."

Rainer Maria Rilke

I still don't have a mat, and although I have been practicing in the most beautiful places, I am beginning to feel disconnected. Today I am severely missing my yoga community, my yoga friends, my yoga teachers, and the beautiful designated asana and meditation spaces that I was blessed enough to practice in.

The sand by the sea, and the dewy grass in my friend's and grandparent's back yard has served as my mat thus far. As one would expect, it was invigorating at first - the smell of the water, the grass, the wind in my hair. Now some of these elements are beginning to feel less glamorous and more like annoyances, and at times, distractions. My hands constantly sink into the sand, and I wonder if it's any good for my wrists. I slip in the dewy grass, and I perpetually fidget and adjust myself. Even the postures that usually bring immense stillness to my body, like Adho Mukha Svanasana, lack focus. Not to mention that every time I practice outside, I always come home looking like I just fought a wolf.

I've looked up classes in the city, Riga. The most popular studio is actually owned by a family friend, but it is a Bikram studio, and I would prefer to practice traditional hatha/vinyasa style. However, I have considered reaching out to him and checking it out - who knows - maybe it would be different than my experiences in California. From what I hear, this studio has wood floors and not carpet and that in itself is a huge plus. At this point, I have to stay somewhat open minded.

All the other studios I found only offer about one or two classes a day (or retreats), and it is hard to tell what type of classes they are. Basically, there's just not a whole lot of yoga happening in my country. I am hope that when I go to Copenhagen in a week to see my little brother and dad, that I am able to quickly find a studio there and take as many classes as possible. I imagine CPH's yoga community is just as developed as Stockholm's, where I took some awesome classes a few years back. I am looking forward to that.

Meanwhile, I have decided that I need a mat. I just can't do it anymore. Yoga without guidance, without the community, is challenging enough. I need a bloody mat. My childhood friend, who I am staying with, manages a sporting goods store, and she said I could come in and check out some of the mats that they carry. I am planning to take the train to the city tomorrow to visit her location. They don't have any brands that I am familiar with, but I am sure I can find something to suit me.

Meanwhile, I am just going to try and enjoy the nature. I know that the bumps I am experiencing is the work I need to be doing, and I trying my very best. I just recently read a quote that really resonated with me by my favorite author/writer Maya Angelou. Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better; do better.  

Anyways, here are some photos from a 3 day river trip that I went on with Lionda's family, plus some other places that I captured while running or hiking that have brought me energy, and inspiration. Until next time.